I Heard From Laurie the Editor!

My editor, Laurie, was kind enough to send me a short email halfway through her edit of Redemption on the River.  I had to unplug my laptop and take it downstairs to my wife so we could read it together for the first time.  And.....she had nice things to say.

Actually, even nicer than her comments was the fact that she took the time to let me know how it was going.  She normally doesn't send progress reports, but she had somehow sensed from 3,000 miles away how anxious I was and gave me some early feedback.

Whew.  I took some of that just-released pent-up energy and went out for a 38 degree bike ride.  (OBTW, only 22 miles left to go to reach my goal of 1,000 miles for 2011.)

Speaking of pent-up energy, I've already warned Teri that once Laurie's report arrives there is going to be nothing else I'd rather be working on than the book.

Blurb the Blurbing Blurb

In my continuing efforts to keep busy and connected to the book while Laurie ( thebookeditor.com ) takes her red pen to the manuscript I've been working on blurbs.  If I do decide to pursue independent e-publishing the marketing efforts will be entirely up to me and that includes coming up with an irresistible blurb.

I've found that writing them sucks.

My first thought was to simply adapt one of the 100+ queries that I wrote when I was assuming that I would pursue traditional publishing.  Nope, I finally got through my dim brain that a query and blurb are two different animals.  They're both sales pitches, but one is to an agent and reveals a lot or nearly all of the plot, and a blurb is much more of a cryptic tease that induces a reader/customer to buy the book to find out what happens.

Here is my latest effort:


     A guilty conscience, a woman, a twisted enemy—and redemption rides on a riverboat poker game.
     Mississippi steamboats offer escape and Silas Jacobson tries to forget his past by fighting, fornicating, and cheating at cards.  It’s a hell of a good time, but the guilt is always there.
     Eventually Silas finds a purpose, a woman, and love.  He might also find redemption if he can overcome betrayal—especially his own.

     REDEMPTION ON THE RIVER is historical fiction set on the Mississippi River in 1848.

Holy Crap!

Laurie emailed me yesterday with the news that she is going to be starting her edit of Redemption on the River this week.  It will be two or three weeks until she is done and sends me her report.

Holy crap.

What do I do now?

I recently had the idea to write a few short stories featuring minor characters from the book.  I've outlined a few and started on one.  I'll work on that just to keep myself from climbing the walls while awaiting Laurie's verdict.

Tick.....Tick......Tick......Tick......

Time passes slowly when waiting.........

Just to keep myself from going too stir crazy I've written an Historical Notes afterword to Redemption on the River, which gives background on the historical figures and places in the novel.  I don't know if I'll use it or not, but I just had to do something with regard to the project.

I've also been working on a marketing plan for when the time comes.  It's a brave new world of publishing out there, and I want to be well prepared to sally forth when the time comes.

Of course, as we said in Naval Aviation, a plan is just the starting point for doing something else.

Milestone - Off to the Editor

There it is:  Redemption on the River in manuscript form, painstakingly printed on the home system and carefully hand collated, boxed, and entrusted to the USPS for delivery to the editor.

Now comes what is always very difficult - waiting.  Laurie expects to get to it later this month, then it will take her several weeks to go through it.  I'm hoping to hear back from her by mid-December, but it will be a great Christmas present if it shows up by then.  I figure on buckling down to the rewrite by the first of the year.

As I said to Teri, "Well, before long we'll know whether what I've spent all this time working on is complete crap or not."

It's Tough Waiting - Meanwhile

I'm in the queue for the editor I picked to begin work on REDEMPTION ON THE RIVER; she told me she expects to begin working on it in November.  In the meantime, I've been doing a number of things.

First, I entered a contest at Red Adept Reviews, namely their Worst Ending to a Novel contest.  I'm proud (?) to report that my entry in the horror genre garnered second place, and my entry in the Romance Category earned a fourth.  That and $5 will get you a cup of coffee at Starbucks, but it was fun.

Second, I've been editing an old short story of mine called IAN'S MINE, which is encouraging from the fact that it appears, at least to me, that my writing is much improved from when I wrote it.  I may offer it up for free if & when REDEMPTION ON THE RIVER launches.

Third,  I've been toying with a new novel concept.  With a working title of KANSAS, it will be set in—wait for it—Kansas, in the 1850's.  It's a very dynamic and bloody period in US history and I have the two main characters in my head, but no semblance of a plot as yet.  I have vague ideas, but thus far they take up less than a page in my Moleskine notebook.  Inspiration has yet to strike in a major way.

I think a big reason for lack of motivation for Novel #2 is the hiatus that REDEMPTION ON THE RIVER is currently in.  Laurie Rosin, my editor, advised me to not begin another book as she wishes me to save all my creative energy for rewriting RotR once her edit is finished and returned to me.  She also tells me to only look at Redemption when I want to, as opposed to when I feel like I must, and this is resulting in a very spotty self-edit of version 10.3.  It also causes guilt when I consider Kansas.

Sigh.  As the title of this post states— it's tough waiting.

Here's a picture of the sunrise that I took yesterday from the cockpit on descent into Miami after an all-nighter from Seattle:

Friday Funny - So You Want To Write a Novel?

This video hits so close to home it hurts:  So You Want to Write a Novel?

Yes, I wanted to write a novel and I have done so, but I hope it's been with a little more awareness than the wannabe in the video.  Gotta love his optimism, though.

It's interesting also in that the video was uploaded in November of 2010 and is obviously oriented towards traditional publishing as the knowledgable character refers to query letters, agents, and Big 6 publishers.  Now, less than a year later, the video's creator has epublished his first novel.  The times are a'changin'—fast.

At David Kazzie's blog he announces the availability of his new book, THE JACKPOT.  I just happened to have finished my last ebook and figured I would support Mr. Kazzie in return for the great video, so I bought it for my iPad from the iBook store.

With regard to the self-published, low-price ebooks that I've been reading lately, I have to say that on the whole they've been better than expected, but I have yet to come across one that I would heartily recommend.  

Bucket List Items - One & Done, or New Vocation?

I've never had a bucket list, at least in the sense of actually writing things down.  That said, there are certainly things that I’ve always wanted to do and rather assumed that someday I'd get around to them.  Come to think of it, maybe I have had a bucket list, just in nebulous form.

Why bring this up?

I’m wondering how often a bucket list item, once accomplished, leads to a new hobby, a new job, or a new way of life.

For example, I’ve always had a vague desire to climb Mt Rainier, and I may do so some day.  If I do, I really doubt that it will lead me to take up mountain climbing.  In this particular case it is due to advancing middle age, accumulating nagging injuries, and the suspicion that I won’t enjoy it all that much.  Still, the mountain is there so I’d like to climb it, and if I do accomplish the feat I will likely just check it off the list, start pounding ibuprofen, and never do the like again.

My bucket-list writing of a novel, however, has the potential to be a game-changer.  I’ve always liked to write, and over the years I mustered the motivation to write and sell a few magazine articles as well as crank out an annual Christmas letter.  But, in the back of my mind lurked the thought that I should bestir myself and write a novel, and in 2007 I actually began.  I gave myself one year to write it, the first draft was complete after 14 months (not bad, really), I revised up to a third draft, then let it simmer for over a year, and took it up again in the summer of 2010.

I really, really like working on it.  So much so that, although it’s an extremely intimidating thought to think of writing another, I may do so.  Writing is at the very least a new hobby and could very will morph into something bigger.

How often do bucket-list items, once accomplished, become life changers?

Blog as Journal

This blog is going to move beyond its original purpose, which was to act as a kind of journal of the gestation of my work in progress, Redemption on the River (former working title:  Overboard).  Now I'm going to use it as my general write-about-what's-interesting to me build-it-and-they-will-come (maybe) blog, which will be focused mainly on books and writing, but will have plentiful dollops of other stuff thrown in.  We'll see how it goes.

So, what is the status of the (formerly) Secret Project?

First, the title is almost certainly finalized as Redemption on the River.  It's fairly short, rolls off the tongue reasonably well, and I believe it makes for a good four-word representation of the story.

Second,  I will almost certainly pursue electronic rather than traditional publishing.  There are many reasons for this, and I plan to discuss them in a future postt.

Third, I just completed incorporating the red-ink changes that resulted from three complete, beginning-to-end self-edits of version 10.0.  The changes are not significant to the story, but Chapter 2 is tightened up, some redundancies are gone, and a number of pesky adverbs no longer clutter things up.  The word count dropped from 156,408 to 154,867, a reduction of 1,541.

I have christened the new draft as version 10.3.  Although the changes make the book incrementally better, they are not really significant.  I have been through it so many times the words are starting to wear grooves in my brain.  I am going to do my best to leave it alone for a while, although it will be hard to wait until editor Laurie Rosin gets to it in November.

Shifting Gears

I've given myself a new title - Author.  Given that I consider that I've written a book I consider myself worthy to assume the mantle.  Of course, said mantle has nothing to do with the quality of said book - folks who produce crap as still authors.

I'm also planning to shift the orientation of the blog to focus more on writing about and discussing things that interest me.  It reflects the fact the my book is no longer a Secret Project, and the blog is no longer primarily to document its long gestation.

After some thought I decided to keep the backlog of posts that go back to—gulp—2007.  Many of them cause my toes to curl, but they do give a history of my big project.  I've learned a ton since then, my writing is much better (I think), and I hope that this blog grows from its original very narrow focus.

So, changes in format and subject matter are forthcoming, but right now son Spence is Skyping me and I have to go.

The $50 First Chapter Flogging

The reviews from beta readers have been almost uniformly stellar, but it is sometimes hard to extract constructive criticism. I suppose it's a good thing that many of them say, "No, I have no suggestions to make, I just loved it", but I'm very aware that the manuscript still needs improvement.

One friend (thanks RL) did do an edit with red pen in hand and she caught a number of things which made me wonder if I am blind, but that's not going to produce the same results as a thorough review by a professional editor. So I paid to get flogged.

Ray Rhamey at Flogging the Quill offers a variety of editing services, from free 'floggings' of reader-submitted first pages clear on up to complete book edits. I popped for his $50 edit of a book's first chapter. Off it went, and he returned it to my inbox in about 10 days.

First, Ray does a thorough job and his $50 flogging is well worth it, particularly if you've never had your manuscript looked at by a pro before. He returned 60+ individual edits and comments, as well as a summary overview of thoughts and suggestions.

Second.......... Holy crap. Looking at the trees rather than the forest for the moment, I had thought that Chapter 1 was relatively clean. Wrong. It's covered in green with erased adverbs, inserted commas, struck-out adjectives, etc. Sigh. I particularly appreciated his finding potential point of view (POV) errors, something I haven't been watching for closely enough because it's pretty easy to err that way when writing in first person.

The forest: In Ray's FWIW (his signature line) opinion the opening, indeed the whole first chapter, is too slow. He finds not enough story tension, conflict, and sense of plot. Not enough hook early enough. Hmm.

His major point, and it's supported by numerous blogging agents, is that you must hook an agent's - or a reader's - interest no later than the first page or you're done, you've lost them.

I returned (in an email exchange) that there are plenty of fine novels that start slowly. He granted that, but allowed as how those are almost always by established authors who can, so to speak, get away with it because agents, publishers, and readers will give them the benefit of the doubt and persist through a slow opening.

I'm thinking that may well be true, but I'm primarily concerned with writing the best book I can, not necessarily the book that will best appeal to an agent reading the first page.

Furthermore, although I have had beta readers comment that the opening is slow, when I did cut about 1/3 of the first chapter to open it in the afternoon rather than morning of the first day, some beta readers complained, saying, "Oh, I loved the opening and being eased into the story, you should have kept it."

Sigh. What are you gonna do?

Yet Another Edit Complete

The current hard copy of the project is 9.0, which is in accordance of the software version type of numbering scheme I've been using. I just finished another complete red-pen edit of the manuscript.

What is amazing to me is the number of times I can go through this thing and still miss such obvious things as missing words, doubled words, misplaced words, grammar mistakes, punctuation, etc. I estimate that I've been through the whole book from start to finish, on the laptop or on hard copy, in editing mode at least twenty times and I still find errors.

And that's not even to talk about the things that I'm really trying to find and improve. Such things as awkward phrases, clichés, redundancies, characters who enter a room they never left, and just plain trying to make the writing itself better.

Sigh.

Getting Back To It

I've not worked on Overboard in approximately a month.  I had over three weeks away from work and I try to avoid working on the novel at home - I don't want to lock myself in my office away from the family on days that I'm home.

Also, the hiatus should allow me to return to the project with fresh eyes.  Feedback from beta readers has led me to consider three options for going forward:  

A)  Continue to rewrite and refine the novel in its current form.

B)  Go with a MAJOR rewrite, basically a whole new second half.

C)  Shelve it and move on to another novel.

Right now I'm leaning toward Option A.

More later, especially on my Flogging.

More Mixed Reviews

My mom, dad and wife have finished reading the 2nd draft.  Reviews are mixed.

On the one hand they regard it as entertaining, reasonably well written (allowing for draft status) and evocative of the historical period.  On the other they tend to regard Silas, the protagonist, as hard to like, some of the plot turns near the end as relatively implausible, and some of the ending action confusing.

Dang.

Some of their constructive criticism has coincided with nagging worries I've had that therefore have turned out to be well founded.  Some of their criticism has been a surprise.  Often I can explain what I meant and they say, 'Oh, I see that now', but the very act of needing to explain means I've failed as a story-teller. 

What I have thanked them for and thank them for here again is for their direct, non-sugarcoated comments.  Some might say that if your mom doesn't like it then it must really suck, but my mom has done exactly what I asked in voicing her criticism and the book will be much better for it.  Thanks mom - and dad, and SFF.

Back to the rewrites.

Back To It

I've finished my annual training for my real job and will be getting back to working on the novel tomorrow.

One thing that is rapidly becoming apparent is that I didn't budget enough time for rewrites into my one year write-a-novel schedule. I completed the first draft close to schedule, the second draft ahead of schedule, but I don't see how I can possibly get the whole book into polished, can't-be-made-better form by 31 March.

My mother has finished reading it - more on that on a later post - but my brother and sister are so busy they're barely started. That's another reason for the original overly-optimistic schedule - I didn't account for allowing beta readers the time they need to read it and get back to me with feedback.

Sucky Synopsis

How's that for a mature, well-reasoned title for a blog post?

Write a synopsis for my book? No problem, right? After all, I wouldn't tackle writing a novel if I didn't think I could kinda sorta write decently, and who better to synopsize a book than the author?

Holy crap.

I researched and read articles and reviewed examples of agent-procuring synopses and got right to it. I produced Overboard Synopsis 1.0, printed it and handed it to my wife, SFF. She read it and summarized it with, "Well, there are a couple of sentences I thought were okay."

Ouch.

After peeling away that trying-to-be-nice layer she admitted frankly that she thought it sucked. So, we went over it together, line by line, and by the end of it I had to agree with her. So, I buckled down to the keyboard, took all the constructive criticism aboard and produced Overboard Synopsis 1.4, which she is reading as I type this.

While I await the verdict, here are some synopsis-related links:

Nathan Bransford on Writing Synopses

Top 10 Questions

How to Write a Synopsis

Synopsis Resources

The verdict is in:  SFF allows as how the synopsis is significantly improved.

Why the big press when the novel itself is only in version 2.24?  It's because the PNWA contest requires a synopsis and the entry deadline is tomorrow.  At the very least I'll have some synopsis experience and a basis to start from once I consider the book finished and agent querying begins.

SFF is reviewing Synopsis 1.5 right now and I need to get crap done.